Ten original essays — written exclusively for VeryGoodCopy — by David Ogilvy’s right-hand copywriter, the great Drayton Bird:

From the desk of Drayton Bird:

This will help you create messages that get people to do what you want.

By messages I mean any combination of words and pictures, still or moving, in any medium. 

Media differ principles don’t. No matter what you write — letters, emails, ads, landing pages, TV commercials — you need the same skills and must follow the same principles.

DRAYTON BIRD
Former Worldwide Creative Director
@ Ogilvy & Mather Direct
March, 2021

Imagine your ideal prospect

Marketing jargon is a curse.

You are not talking to a "target audience" but to people, with loves, hates, fears, hopes, likes and dislikes.

Over 50 years ago, Irving Wunderman defined your challenge with this question: “To whom are you offering what ultimate benefit?”

Imagine a likely customer. Maybe even someone you know. You are sitting in front of them. You must persuade them to do what you want, or they'll shoot you.

Too dramatic, perhaps. But you must have a burning desire to persuade — and a keen fear of failing. 

How will you start the conversation?

Say something they cannot ignore! You must seize their attention and take them to the next step.

Devote most of your thoughts to how you begin. If you don’t grab people, you’ve failed at the first fence.

What you say to your ideal prospect will be relevant, to a degree, to less ideal ones. Do not waste your time trying to persuade those who are never likely to respond. You are pushing water uphill.

Let’s analyse a famous advertisement by David Ogilvy:

That headline was lifted, word for word, from an earlier one for the Pierce-Arrow car.

Amateurs imagine original, quirky approaches work best. Not so: what matters is to say the right thing. Something that promises a strong benefit or escape from something people dislike.

In a luxury car, silence is a measure of quality — and that was a striking way to promise it.

Ogilvy said that when you have written your headline you have spent 80% of your money, as 8 out of ten possible readers never read on.

This principle applies in all media:

The heading to your webpage. 
The subject line in your email. 
The start of your video. 
The visual and heading in your poster.

Therefore, devote most of your effort — no matter what the medium — to how your message begins.

TWO:

Do a complete selling job (part 1)

Your copy is like a one-sided conversation. How can you keep people’s attention?

Your aim throughout is to never lose your audience until they do what you want.

They must find your content so gripping that they stay with you throughout.

You can’t “hear” their response. So how can you guess what they want to know next?

You ask yourself what they might be thinking.

With the Rolls-Royce ad above they must have wondered what it takes to make a car so quiet.

The subhead tells them.

Now read the first paragraph: it elaborates on the headline. And the remaining copy explains in detail why the Rolls Royce is — as that subhead claims — the best car in the world.

Your copy must give every reason why what you have claimed is true — and end by saying why people should act. And your language must fit your prospects and your product or service.

Much copy is bad because it is written in the same tone of frantic enthusiasm no matter who it is supposed to come from or to whom it is written.

This is amateurish. Our tone and choice of words varies depending on who we are, who we are addressing and what we are talking about.

You must allow for this — use the tone and words fitting the product, service or company. And if you are writing “as” someone in a letter or email, your language should fit that person.

The language in the Rolls-Royce ad befits the world’s best car. For instance the subhead implies that lesser marques may have good engineers, but Rolls Royce’s has an eminent one.

The use of an unusual, but relevant word is very effective. Ogilvy raises the reader’s perception of what he was selling with language above the ordinary. That language flattered the readers.

Like all good copywriters David Ogilvy knew the best job is the complete job. 

So this is long copy which always beats short (assuming what is being sold is not trivial).

And he understood the importance of patiently, carefully, following up the claim in the headline in the body copy. He starts by with elaborating upon the claim by quoting an expert, the technical editor of The Motor magazine.

Good copy is based on knowledge — and Ogilvy worked in research early in his career.

He certainly did his homework to be able to reveal how long the engine was run before the car was ready for sale; how many coats of paint were applied; and not just how many, but the fact that they were hand-rubbed between each coat.

Good copy gets as close as possible to experiencing the product. Here you discover how it is to drive the car with information about all the controls and switches. And the things the car offers that lesser ones don't.

No detail you can imagine is omitted from this copy. Right down to reminding people that if they didn't want to be flashy they could buy a Bentley instead.

THREE:

Write to the ideal prospect

Who inspired David Ogilvy? Claude Hopkins.

Hopkins was almost certainly the best-ever copywriter. His copy built the world’s largest ad agency of its time — still one of the world’s largest under a different name.

Ogilvy said Hopkins’ book, Scientific Advertising, “changed the course of my life.” Curiously that book has no illustrations. His clients begged him not to include any for fear their advertising secrets would be revealed.

No writer ever made so many brands famous — or was paid so much. (Pepsodent paid the equivalent today of over $1 million to write their ads.)

Here is an example, over 100 years old, for another brand that has prospered ever since Hopkins worked for them: 

As you see, he starts by talking to his ideal prospects: people who have got a new baby. But afterwards he widens his aim.

His headline — “Baby’s First Bath” — instantly seizes on a magical moment in every parent’s life.

(If you doubt me, go online and see how many references there are to that topic).

Illustrations in those days were pretty rudimentary — but these are the right ones. Two storks and, of course, a baby. A good copywriter thinks visually, not just verbally.

Storytelling may be the oldest form of entertainment: immensely powerful. 

Hopkins tells a story about a famous hospital. Hopkins tells how the baby is looked after. He always gets his details right: three babies are born there every day.

But having sold the soap to proud parents he naturally segues from the hospitals to physicians — and sells the soap to anyone concerned about their skin.

Ignore his rather old-fashioned style. 

Focus on the content. Once you’re involved, he does a complete selling job in very few words.

If you have not read Scientific Advertising you can download it, free, from DraytonBird.com (top right).

FOUR:

Aim for relevant surprise

Amateurs imagine originality is the key to success. Professionals know it is not.

Rosser Reeves, who coined the phrase Unique Selling Proposition (USP) said: “Originality is the most dangerous word in the advertiser’s lexicon.”

Leo Burnett founded an agency I once worked for — and which still thrives.

He said: 

“If I absolutely, positively insist on being original, I can always come down in the morning with a sock in my mouth.”

But surprise that is relevant to what you are offering is always a good idea, as this advertisement by Joe Karbo demonstrates:

I actually met Joe, and he offered me a job. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I’d taken it. I’m sure I would have learned a lot.

I also wonder what would have happened if I’d accepted the same offer from Gene Schwartz, but I’m glad I eventually went to work with Ogilvy.

“Promise, large promise, is the soul of an advertisement,” said Dr. Johnson, who wrote the first good English dictionary some 250 years ago.

And how many larger promises are there than being able to get rich without working?

But of course, there is a problem. You don’t believe it. So cunning Joe then says something you do believe. And that makes you half believe his big promise.

And what is the rest of the copy doing? Making sure you do believe.

He validates his promise in one of the best ways possible: by telling his own story. Painting a picture of what it’s like to be rich. Giving examples of people who’ve profited from his advice.

But also by saying: “I’ve been in your shoes — and if I did well, so can you.” 

I know he did indeed go broke — and he wrote an ad about how he survived. Its headline was “71 ingenious (but perfectly legal) ways to avoid paying your debts.”

There are many little tricks worth watching out for in this ad. They take away the fear of being ripped off. The uncashed checks that will be kept in escrow is perhaps the best. I suggest you print it and go through it with a yellow marker.

FIVE:

Appeal to deep emotions

Of all the copywriters I have known David Abbott was one of the very best.

And this was perhaps the best of all the many fine advertisements he created:

It’s the best because the right kind of advertising can completely overcome the logical assessment of a product or service. It exploits what a brand can do:  add value not in the product.

There is no sane reason why anyone should buy this whisky. It is not a fine single malt — it is very expensive for what it is.

(Because I spent some time selling whisky on the telephone — during one of my many perilous periods — I know a little about the subject.)

But this advertisement is not selling the quality of the whisky, how it tastes, where it comes from or stuff like that.

It’s showing what a gift can do. And the same sort of copy could have been applied to any gift you can think of.

But there are few occasions when advertising really relies upon logic.

In fact there are very few occasions in history when men have been driven by logic.

This is one of the most emotional advertisements I've ever seen.

I once read it out at a seminar and I found myself getting choked up.

Absurd when you think about it. But its power derives not from selling whisky, but from the masterful use of literary techniques — and an understanding of people.

Here are 5 specific techniques you should bear in mind: 

One: Repetition. He repeats the word “because” 25 times.

Two: Word pictures. “The red, red bicycle, riding down the street” conjures up a scene in your minds.

Three: Human frailty we can relate to. “When you pretend you only need glasses for reading.”

Four: Astonishing attention to small human details that touch the heart — like dancing round the kitchen.

Five: And the final, downright flattering line: “If you don’t deserve Chivas Regal, who does?”

I almost find myself lost for words trying to explain why and how this copy is so good. Read it for yourself and see how it affects you. 

I wish I had written it.

P.S. 

I forgot to mention the handwritten “To Dad” — the magic of the recipient getting the gift.

SIX:

Tell of disaster turned to triumph

How many advertising headlines have entered the language?

Can you think of any? I can only think of this one offhand:

This is probably the most copied ad ever, written by perhaps the best teacher. 

We have used variations in my business, and I have seen many more by others.

Why is it so successful?

Because it contains 7 elements to draw readers in and keep them reading till they buy.

First: it’s a story. You can’t beat a story.

Second: it inspires curiosity — why did they laugh? Why was he sitting down at the piano?

Third: the picture illustrates the story. Few pictures do much of a selling job. And the caption is perfect. Often I see ads where the picture has no caption. Lunacy: after the headline, captions are the most read part of your ad.

Fourth: the element of surprise — we all love surprises, to find how somebody exceeded expectations so greatly.

Fifth: the promise of admiration. We all want to be admired — the story of someone being admired and outdoing everyone’s expectations.

Sixth: comes the infallible problem/solution. Problem: he couldn’t play the piano. Solution: he took the course and succeeded.

Seventh: the contrast between his expected humiliation and his howling success is perfectly described.

A powerful piece indeed. Written nearly 100 years ago and still being copied and used today.

I’ll suggest another thing: if you haven’t done so, read one of John Caples’ books. Few of us study enough.

Claude Hopkins may have sold a great deal more and built bigger brands, but there was no better advertising teacher than Caples. That’s partly because nobody understood the science of testing more than Caples. And partly because Hopkins’ books contain no illustrations.

P.S. 

But please take care when choosing a Caples book. One version of Tested Advertising Methods was poorly edited.

It contains examples which are misleading because the editor understood nothing about response.

SEVEN:

Don’t be a bore

Distinguished Indian advertising man, Mani Ayer, once remarked: “The obvious is always overlooked.”

What is obvious?

Ogilvy, as so often, put it well: “You cannot bore people into buying.”

Unfortunately, most writers are bores. If you don’t believe me, think of the last few emails you received, the ads you saw or watched, and ask yourself: did you find most of them interesting — or boring?

The odds are that most were boring, few interesting, and some incomprehensible.

The best advice comes from good writers, so here are 2 suggestions: 

Winston Churchill said: “Use simple words everyone knows, then everyone will understand.” 

If you study the speeches Churchill made 60 years ago during the Second World War, speeches that inspired a nation, you will notice how simple the language is.

Make sure you too use such simple language. There is a simple reason, well put in an old advertisement for a newspaper:

In short, talk in everyone’s language, and everyone will understand.

My second suggestion is to read this from George Orwell in 1947:

1. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.

2. Never use a long word where a short one will do.

3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.

4. Never use the passive where you can use the active.

5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.

6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

Following that advice may not make you a great writer but it will take you on the first step, ensure you don’t make some dreadful mistakes and become a bore. Avoiding mistakes is the start of success. It’s not so much that you get things perfect, just that you don’t get them wrong.

EIGHT:

Make it clear and easy to read or follow

Show your copy to an idiot who might be a customer.

I know it sounds harsh.

But the advice came from a friend who worked in the Mail Order business — his name was Brian Thomas and he ended up running my agency. His experience gave him a deep understanding of customers.

The reason he gave for showing your copy to an idiot was simple: 

People are not thinking, even if they are intelligent, when they read your copy or watch your commercials or whatever it may be.

So you must write knowing that either they aren’t very bright or they aren’t paying attention.

Nobody wakes up in the morning thinking “I can’t wait to analyse every piece of promotional copy I come across today.”

You might be surprised, though, that some people are smarter than you think, and can take in more.

Going back to the 1970’s I wrote a television commercial to sell a popular product at the time — a car radio.

In those days radios were not built into cars, they were slotted into the dashboard. Enterprising thieves would break into people’s cars and steal their radios. So I wrote a commercial featuring such a thief and showing him being foiled.

The ad was a minute long but the client suddenly asked me to cut it in half.

I was panic-stricken and went to a studio in London’s Soho and sat down with an editor. We painstakingly cut down my beautiful commercial to 30 seconds.

Then I worried no one would understand it. (Sometimes you are too close to your own work to judge it fairly.)

I went out into the street and asked passers-by to come and watch the commercial — and then asked them if they understood it.

They did, so we ran the ad, and sold two barges full of previously unsold radios.

Barges? Yes; they had been shipped over from the Netherlands by the makers — our client, Philips.

NINE:

Do a complete selling job (part 2)

Research and experience prove a simple unarguable fact.

Again, you must do a complete selling job.

Any reason for acting that is not mentioned means sales lost. So does any objection to buying. 

And you must repeat your arguments.

Many years ago, McGraw-Hill researched the effectiveness of the advertising in their magazines.

They discovered that unless the benefit was mentioned at least three times in the ad it wouldn’t do as well.

It doesn’t mean you restate the benefits in exactly the same words. Use your imagination, but restate them you must.

Every copywriter who has ever had to live on results rather than whether people liked the ads knows liking is not the key to success.

Back in the ‘70s, Isuzu ran highly entertaining ads featuring a character called Joe Isuzu. They won awards. But every time they ran, sales dropped.

Don’t try to be clever. 

Just give every good reason why people should do what you want and overcome every sensible objection they might have.

One of the best places to restate or remind people of a benefit is in a caption to a picture — and never have a picture without a caption. Apart from the headline picture captions are generally the most read thing in an advertisement.

Obviously this depends on the picture. No good if it’s someone grinning inanely out of the page or sitting at a computer or in a meeting. Your picture should be interesting, and if possible show the product or service in action. Before and after shots are ideal.

A very, very good place to remind people of the chief benefit you offer is in the P.S. to a letter.

I have never tested how important the P.S. is in an email, but I don’t take chances and reckon it won’t do you any harm.

To go back to what I wrote just now, repetition with variation is absolutely essential.

As an example, here is my landing page for Ask Drayton.

TEN:

Search the world and steal the best

Even if you’re a genius you don’t need to come up with something new.

As proof the phrase “nothing new under the sun” dates back over 2,000 years.

Mozart said: “I never tried to be original in my life.”

But he also said: “I write music as a sow piddles.”

So copying obviously helps if you want to churn out an endless series of winners.

I should pay tribute now to a former colleague, Steve Harrison. I spotted him when he was working in our library at Ogilvy & Mather.

He went on to become the Creative Director then started his own agency and made tons of money.

He wrote a brilliant letter for American Express which used a technique too often ignored. Telling the truth.

The letter explained how he couldn’t understand why people had been interested but not taken the card. 

The killer phrase was “I have a problem and only you can help.”

I copied it almost word for word for another client. Then a further client came along — a coach holiday company — and I adapted the approach indirectly.

Here’s that letter:

It got 78% response and 30% of the people who replied said “Yes” or “Brochure, please” —  and sales came in at a fraction of the normal cost.

So there you go. Copying something or adapting often works.

Don’t try to be a genius — just try to get it right.

It’s the perhaps the most helpful commandment I can give you.

Done!

Thanks so much for being here.

I hope you enjoyed this Micro-Series — and learned something along the way.

Yours for VeryGoodCopy,