The worst copywriting I’ve ever seen:

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“Hi, babushka,” I said. 

My mouth was dry. I was terrified. 

My grandma couldn’t talk at this point. The tubes. She just blinked at me, and squeezed my fingers.

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“I love you,” I whispered.

She blinked again. 

The sliding door wooshed open. My parents walked in. 

“We love you, Mama,” said my dad.

My mom was crying. I don’t think she spoke.

The sliding door wooshed again. The oncologist walked in. Her lips were pursed. 

“Rest for now, Mama,” said my dad. “We’ll be right back.” We left the room.

Woosh.

Woosh. 

Outside the ICU the doctor told us my grandma’s condition had worsened overnight.

“Her condition worsened overnight,” she said. “I’m so sorry,” she said. 

My grandma died later that day. 

Cancer.

It was quiet for a while. 

A few weeks later, I saw an ad. 

It was glued to a light pole in downtown Chicago:

“CANCER SOLUTIONS DISCOVERED,” read the copy. “97% SUCCESS RATE.”

I ripped it down and crumpled it up and threw it in a trash can with the other garbage. 

“Crafting a story that tricks people into making short-term decisions they regret in the long run is the worst kind of marketing sin.”

     ~ Seth Godin

Advertising makes promises. 

And promises bring people hope.

Don’t fuck with a person’s hope.

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Eddie Shleyner 
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