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“Hello,” said the nurse.

“Hi,” I said.

We were in school. There was a bed and curtain in the corner.

“What hurts?”

“Nothing.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“I can’t focus,” I said. I told her I zone out when I read. “It’s like my brain is reading but my mind is elsewhere,” I said. “Far.”

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“Oh,” she said. “What do you think about?”

I looked off at the bed in the corner.

“Are you anxious?”

I was sleepy. The bed looked good.

“Eddie—”

I snapped back.

“Are you anxious?”

Years later, I still feel Far.

(Mostly when I’m tired or overwhelmed or disinterested.)

And sometimes, it’s to my detriment. It’s frustrating, yes. Embarrassing, yes. Painful.

But other times, it helps…

As a copywriter, for instance, I brainstorm daily. And when I do, if I go Far, I lean into it — and ideas pour out. Most are bad, half-baked… but that’s fine. It’s a numbers game, after all. The more bad ideas you have the more good ones you’ll get.

Sometimes they come so fast I get a high, a rush, part excitement and part relief that it’s there, in front of me — the thing, the idea! It’s there. I have it.

I have it.

And I’m glad I have it.

“I’m not anxious,” I said. “I just get ideas.”

Yes, years later, I’m glad.

That’s my experience, anyway.


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